An American Debt
by Yellowluna
Summary: This is a list/story , by yours truly, America, on how to make money. Without prostituting yourself or selling drugs! Hopefully I'll make it out alive without losing my soul.


Author Introduction: Hello! To fellow FF readers, this story is dedicated to those who suffer along with me in a terrible epidemic that plagues us all. I am talking about…COLLEGE! As a college student, or a student in general, there is always the problem of money that looms over our heads. So allow me to introduce this silly idea I came up with on surviving college debt. Alfred here will tell his story about how he was thrown into debt and how he found ways to fight it off. Please make yourself comfortable and listen to America who will be your tour guide to the world of money making and paying off bad debts. =D

Alfred's Introduction/Story Summary: "It's a list, yo! By your truly, America, or as my Prez. calls me Alfred, or **Alfred F. Jones** when he's angry with me. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I have a big debt to pay off. But on the bright side, I am not alone! So, for everyone who suffers at the hands of evil debt collectors, follow me and we'll both find a way to defeat the evil boss that is Chi- I mean! Debt!"

Warnings: This chapter contains France…being France. And America swearing. _Italics are thoughts. _This may also contain peanuts…

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

* * *

**In The Name of Science**

**Please save me!** Arms waves wildly in the air, desperately trying to grab the attention of the hero.

"Don't worry! The hero is here to save the day!" Cheered Alfred.

**Please hurry!**

"Of course! I'm coming!" Alfred grinned.

**Hurry up!**

"What the hell lady? Hold your horses! I said I'm coming didn't I?" His eyebrows knitted in concentration, focusing all his attention on the lady who continued to wave her arms frantically from her perch on a balcony. **Save me!**

"Alright already! Chill!" He continued his sprint across the field and halted at the door of the giant castle in front of him. Various actions followed. Busting through the door, avoiding booby traps and defeating the boss of the castle. Finally, Alfred opened the doors that stashed the captive lady from the world. Pressing pause on the remote control, Alfred approached the television where the captive lady stood staring at him, her 'thank you' barely getting ready to leave her lips.

"Lets see…" He studied her face. A pretty blond, around her early 20's with short hair. This was the princess he was supposed to save? Grabbing a marker from a nearby table Alfred thought for a moment. The marker squeaked on the television screen for a few seconds before Alfred stepped back to admire his work, or as he'd like to call: "Improvements."

The princess he had frozen in time now stared back at him with an angry feature. Her eyebrows were much more dense and thick while here opened mouth, turned into a scowl, seemed to be saying "Bloody git!"

Following her insult was another comment that read: "It's about time you got here!"

"Haha! Oh England, why can't you ever appreciate a heroes efforts to come and save your ass?" The princess just glared at him, in return. _I probably should have left you with the evil French boss huh? Wait…now that I think about it…is it possible for French people to even achieve boss status? …I doubt it. _

Grinning from ear to ear, Alfred was about to erase the doodle he created on the TV screen when a sudden thought hit him. _Oh right! I should probably call England and ask him what time he's coming over!_

Ditching his game console in his living room, Alfred ran up stairs to his room and grabbed his cell phone that lay upon a pile of dirty clothes. Flipping it open, Alfred noticed the screen flashing a bold, (**20 missed calls.)**

"Oh shit! Did England call THAT much!" Clicking the affirmative button, Alfred nearly chocked when he saw that EVERY missed call was from his boss. _Oh crap! Probably shouldn't have left the dang phone on silent, huh…?_

Clicking a few buttons, Alfred waited for the line to ring. Immediately, his call went through but he was met with a frightening silence instead.

"Ummm…Mr. Prez? Are you…there?" Questioned Alfred, secretly fearing a reply.

"…Alfred F. Jones, I want you to get here THIS INSTANT!" Came the slow reply before ending in a loud pitch.

_Oh…he's pissed. You know he's pissed when he's calling me by my full name…_Alfred dropped his head as if the President was standing in front of him in person.

"Yes sir." He mumbled. Hanging up, he ran down the stairs and got in his car, speeding through the streets that led him towards Washington D.C. The longer the President had to wait when angry and calling on Alfred the worse the situation for the American.

All the while, the forgotten princess on Alfred's TV screen continued to scowl.

* * *

"Alfred…why on earth did it take you 5 HOURS to answer my calls!" Scolded the President. Alfred had his head down, praying that the floor under him would just swallow him up and drop him off in China. _Well what the hell can I tell him? That I was too busy playing games to give a damn about a silent phone?_

"Mr. Prez. I-" Started Alfred.

"Nope. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear ANYTHING from you. Just sit down and PAY ATTENTION!" Indicating towards the chair that stood in front of his office desk, Alfred obediently sat down. His boss tiredly shook his head, most likely enduring a migraine, and sat down at his desk. "Mr. O-."

"Quiet Alfred." A finger was raised in warning, silencing the blond. Two nerve racking minutes crawled by before the President removed his hands from his head and faced his nation. He stared straight into those worried sky blue eyes.

"Alfred, you're not doing shit." Waiting for the comment to settle in, the President studied America's reaction. Quivering lip's, widen eyes. Hell, he could almost hear his rapid heart beat too!

"W-What?" Was Alfred's sole reply. Sighing simply out of habit, the President gathered his thoughts together.

"Look…I'm sorry if it sounds…harsh to you, but that's the gist that I am seeing from you. Do I even NEED to ask what you were doing earlier that was so important for you to ignore all of my calls?"

"B…But! But I…I do stuff! I go to world meetings, that's something!" Defended the nation. _I'm not useless! I'm a hero dammit! _

"Sure, you go to world meetings. But what do you come back with?"

"Notes!"

"Wrong!" Pulling papers from his desk drawer, America's boss slapped them onto the desktop. What Alfred liked to call notes, on the table stood something different. His "notes" consisted of misshapen doodles and numerous comments on various nations.

Some like, **"England should seriously consider shaving his eyebrows. I think I saw one twitch on its own today, even though the Brit wasn't angry or anything!"**

"**OMG! I accidentally walked into a bathroom stall and saw Russia and China in there. At the same time! WTF!"**

"You even wrote some comments about me!" Alfred fidgeted in his seat.

"Did you read th-?"

"Alfred!" Yelled his leader. He shut his lips tightly. _By God! I swear, this nation of ours is going to give me a heart attack one day! _Calming himself in the temporary silence, the President returned to the topic at hand. "Alright. Listen and don't talk until I'm done." Alfred dumbly nodded.

"I called you here because I don't think you're doing enough. I've sent you piles of documents to work on, yet I haven't received any back. And that was a year ago!" Alfred looked away in embarrassment. _So THAT'S what all those papers were for…_

"And currently, our country is suffering from a debt crisis as well." Alfred turned back to his boss, his stare questioning the connection between himself and the debt.

"Both of these things are a problem for me but I can't deal with either of those issues because of the threats our people are receiving from other problems."

_Ok…? …And I'm related to this how…?_

"So! My staff and I have come up with a little…project. An idea that could kill two birds with one stone. Starting today, you are going to carry out this experiment of ours." America stared blankly at his boss. "Judging by the sheer amount of our debt, it is estimated that every America citizen, should they be forced to pay a portion of our national debt, would have to pay $38,000." The gagging noise coming from Alfred, who had choked on his tongue, reinforced the dire situation of their financial threat that his people would have to face, someday if not sooner.

"I know, quite a large number. However this is where YOU come in. Our project should be simple enough for you to accomplish. You are our nation, personified, but you are also an American citizen."

"Duh." Agreed America.

A curt frown from his boss shut him up again. "As an American citizen, you also must pay a portion of our debt."

"Wait? What?"

"I'm not done Alfred."

_What more could you explain!_

"In this project, you have two goals. Pay off your portion of the debt AND gather data on the American people."

"Data?"

"Yes. You will compile a report on the living standards of our people during these economic times. Do they have debts? Are you paying them off? How are they living with their income level? Those kind of analytical questions."

"…Ok?"

"And you will do all this while living amongst your people." His boss finished.

"…Alright. That sounds cool enough. I think I have some money in-"

"No Alfred. I don't think you understand me. When I say you will be living amongst the America people, I mean you will be living AMONGST them."

"Huh? ...I…I don't get it."

The president sighed again. "Look. This experiment is trying to get as close to our people's situation as possible. This is how it goes. Your name is Alfred F. Jones. You owe a debt of $38,000 and you have no money."

"But I have some-!"

"No money! And you no longer live in your house either. You live in the projects and your rent is due next week."

_The…THE PROJECTS!_

"You need to earn the money through whatever means you are most comfortable, seeing as how you no longer work for us. However, there are restrictions. Number one: No trafficking drugs or involvement in the narcotics."

"I'm a hero, not a drug dealer!"

"Number two: No prostituting yourself."

"W-w- what! I'm not- I! Come ON! Do I LOOK like a-!"

"And number three: No robbing people or killing them."

"Oh, my GOD! Why would I do ANY of that shit?"

"I'm just telling you. Figure the rest out for yourself." America couldn't do much but gawk at his boss in dismay.

"From here on out, you are an average American citizen, struggling financially. Good luck out there." The shocked blond snapped out of his stupor state.

"Are you serious? This is a fucking joke, right?"

"Alfred! Watch your language. And no. I'm dead serious. At least this way, you'll be use-…I mean, helpful. Understand?" A pointed look from his leader destroyed any further arguments from the young nation. He slowly rose from his seat, all life and hope drained from him. _My home…all my stuff…Wait!_

He whipped his head back. "Wait! What about all of my stuff?"

"Hmm…you'll be allowed a suitcase of clothing and whatever else you can fit in there. But ONLY one suit case. No more, no less."

"Are you-?"

"Yes. Now hurry to this address and get your keys." Alfred was handed a folded piece of paper. "If you're late, the land lord will most likely force you to sleep outside." _Oh…My…GAWD! _Alfred vigorously tried to force back any tears that threatened to slide down his rosy cheek.

"…And my car?"

"You'll be allowed to use it get to your old house and get your stuff, but after that, my people will confiscate it. Don't want it to interfere with our experiment now."

_Ok! That's it! _The tears shamelessly fell. "…Why do you hate me so much Prez? Am I THAT annoying to you?" His leader's eyes softened.

"America. I don't hate you. This may sound hard at first, but you're really making a difference here! This is to help our people. The American people! You've always aimed to do that, right?"

The nation hesitated, head lowered, before nodding solemnly.

"See? I'll tell you what. You can keep your cell phone."

"YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE MY CELLPHONE AWAY!" Exclaimed America.

The president winced. _Maybe I shouldn't tell him that he can't keep his Ipod either. I'll let my people wrestle it from him instead._ The president smiled nervously, ignoring Alfred's previous outburst.

"You should get going. Tick tock after all!" His finger pointed at his watch in emphasis of Alfred's limited time.

America glared at his leader. "…President Obama? …I meant half of those comments I wrote," said Alfred, before turning to leave. He halted near a table that held a McDonalds bag and yanked it off the table. "And I'm taking this with me too!" He yelled, the door slamming promptly behind him.

"Oh wait! That bag is-!" The president was left alone in his office. "Oh crap! Stupid idiot. That bag's been there for 3 weeks now." Presidential duties had kept the man busy enough to forget about a 3 week old meal, sitting on his table.

"Oh well. He'll figure it out eventually." He returned to his current paper work.

_I hope…_

* * *

Alfred trip back home irritated the hell out of him! Like it wasn't depressing enough that he was being forced into this "experiment," he was given even MORE rules.

He had to answer all calls from the President, no excuse. He couldn't get ANY help from the other nations. And NO IPOD! OR LAPTOP!

His suitcase could only hold so much clothes. Not to mention he nearly face planted a couple of times on the sidewalk when running after departing buses or busy taxis. God, his life sucked! He had to leave his home so suddenly, he didn't even get to finish his game, let alone turn it off. _Oh CRAP! There goes another high energy bill._

Then there was his…neighborhood. If you could call it that. It was a miracle that the nation arrived without getting mugged on the way by the various thugs that walked by. He DID look retarded enough wandering the project complex looking for an apartment that he was convinced didn't even exist for a while. _This is probably the Presidents secret way of taking me out!_

At last! He reached his destined new "home" and barely got his keys from the grudgingly landlord, before he retired for the day. His "home" wasn't any better inside. In fact, it seemed worse inside than out. To be frank, a rat hole was probably cleaner and more comfortable than HIS place.

"God, kill me NOW!" Growled Alfred to himself. Looking around the dingy room, America settled himself on his bed, a single mattress laid directly on the soiled floor, and decided to eat dinner.

"Why? …Why me? Please! McDonalds! Make the pain go away!" Begged Alfred. And so he devoured his "dinner," completely failing to notice that it was 3 weeks old. Once done, he attempted to snuggle into his bed but the rough lumps prevented him from getting comfortable. At some point in the night, he passed out, fatigue winning out after his emotional rollercoaster of surprise experiments and restricting rules.

**The next day… **

_Oh GOD! Why! God, I'm DYING! _Laying on his bed, the early morning sunshine hit him straight in the face through a grim broken window. Alfred rolled around in bed, clutching his stomach. _What the hell is WRONG with me NOW! _He had been sleeping for some time before his stomach awoke him early in the morning, begging him for medical attention. Nothing could help him either. He had no medicine and he couldn't go to the doctors. _Stupid PREZ! Did he HAVE to take my insurance away too!_

For 3 hours, Alfred laid in bed, head buried in his funny smelling pillow, willing the stomach ache to go away. _This is it! I'm going to die! I- I can't believe it! I didn't even last a DAY in this experiment and already I'm DYING! Thanks a lot BOSS! This building is probably giving me cancer as I speak! And now, I'M DYING! _

"I hate you. I freakin hate you SO MUCH!" moaned Alfred to himself, not aware of whom he hated directly. _I'm so sorry everyone. I couldn't do much to help out. A hero's departure is one that every person alive should attend, but INSTEAD I'm in this hell hole, dying all alone. This is SO not awesome…_

"What else can I do before I pass away from this miserable world?" Asked America. Silence ignored him. _God, I might as well sell my body to science! At least they can put me to good use before I- …WAIT! _

"That's it!" Springing up from his grimy bed Alfred felt a new sense of renewed hope. "I'll SELL my body to science! That's bound to get me a few bucks!"

_**Isn't that close to prostitution?**_

_Wait? What! _Did he just hear another voice?

_**Prostitution. Your boss said that it wasn't allowed.** _

_Ok…Now I'm arguing with myself?_

_**Pretty much. I'm the little voice of reason that you have in the back of your head.**_

…_Seriously? How come I've never heard you before?_

_**Do you realize how OFTEN you block me out? I didn't even know I could speak until I heard your last comment!**_

_Oh…ok? Well, its not prostitution because its all in the name of science. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be "pleasing" anyone so that's another difference! See?_

_**I would seriously not recommend doing this. There are a lot of people out there involved in this business.**_

_That's great! Now I'm bound to find a good price for-!_

_**They do it illegally! Underground and black market crap!**_

_Psh! Don't worry! I'm a hero! I can handle ANY bad guys or villains! _Feeling as if his argument was lost on this cause, the little voice in America's head faded away. But, unknown to America, he planned to come back later.

"Alright! Lets go!" Alfred jumped from bed, his optimism causing him to forget all about his stomach ache. _Lets check the Interne- Oh. Shit! I forgot I don't have a laptop. Damn you Mr. President! What then… Oh! The library! They used to have computers right? Maybe I can borrow one very quick. I hope they still have them…_

* * *

It had taken America another hour to find a library within his area. Walking there was another problem. _Oh…my! _*Huff huff* _By the time I get there, I might as well have lost 20 pounds! _Yeah…America was utterly out of shape too. He reached a library by early afternoon, relieved at not having to wander aimlessly around the city anymore. Then he had to go through another process. Getting his info on the public library's computer and getting a library card. FINALLY, he got on a computer and saw that he had an hour to find a worthy business to sell his body for research.

The American skimmed though various sites, ignoring the weird glances he got from passing civilians who chanced at seeing his computer screen. After all, it was COMPLETELY normal for someone to be searching the web using titles like: **Where can I sell my body? **Or, **How much money will I get for my body?**

"Aha!" Cheered Alfred, who received a hushed quiet from the librarian. "My bad…" He whispered. He returned to the screen.

**Looking for some money? Come to our place and receive $$$ for a good cause. Sell you body in the name of science! (You'll still be alive too!)**

"Bingo! Where are you dudes?" Clicking a few more buttons America found their address. A place close by too! He clumsily turned his computer off and sprinted out of the library, again, ignoring the scolding of the librarians.

* * *

A few streets away and passed a creepy alley way, Alfred stopped at a building hiding in the shadows of the city buildings. "Looks safe enough to me!" Chirped Alfred.

He strolled on by, looking for the address he scribbled on his hand. _49…29…What?_

_Hmmm. Oh! Here it is! _A small shack like building was wedged in between two taller more professional building. Walking inside, Alfred stopped at the counter and rang the bell that rested on the table top.

No one came.

~Ring Ring~

Still no answer.

"What the hell? I come here to offer my services and they can't even place a stupid employee nearby to answer?" Huffing to himself in irritation, Alfred walked out of the eerie shack, and decided to go next door. _Might as well ask these guys where their neighbors are. Maybe they know…_

Opening the door, Alfred was met with a pleasant bell chime, as he approached the desk in the corner of the pristine building; a sharp contrast to the shabby building earlier.

"Hello?" Alfred glanced around the place. _Wow. There's some nice art here. And it smells like perfume to. This sort of reminds me of…_

"Wait a moment, oui?" _Oh…Shi-! That voice! It couldn't be! It-_

From a back room, a tall man with curly blond locks emerged, his blue eyes smiling in mischief as they landed on America.

"France…!"

"Oh! Mon petite Amerique! What brings you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, frenchy. Why are YOU here?"

"Hmmm, I'll answer that as soon as you answer my question, agreed?"

Alfred sighed. "Fine! I'm looking for the people who work next door from here. I didn't find any employees there so I thought that maybe you know where they went…"

America narrowed his eyes at the Frenchmen who roared in laughter.

"What the fuck are you laughing at FROG?"

"Ho…ho ho ho! Poor Amerique. Why would you be looking for such people like them? You DO know what they deal in, oui?'

America growled in agitation. "Uh, YEAH! They deal in science and crap!" _Why the hell is he still laughing?_

"Hoho! Are you looking for money mon cheri? Because if you are, I believe I can help."

"Hell no! I can' take help from nations!" France tilted his head in confusion. "I'm not going to explain why to the likes of YOU, but I need to make some money without help from the nations."

"Oh? Are you finally trying to pay off your debt to old China?" Alfred overlooked his question. "Very well. I suppose I should explain myself in turn. I am here with some associates. I work with these people every once in a while on research. In the science!" Winked France at America. The younger nation just twitched in reply, feeling like he was already being violated. He was about to walk out of the building when a firm hand halted his escape.

"I can help you Amerique. But I will not be helping you as a nation. I will be helping you as Francis instead. So do not worry about your…requirements."

Alfred glanced back at the Frenchmen. "Oh yeah? And HOW exactly can you help me? You don't even know what I'm doing."

"Well…let me think. You were originally going next door. To the atrocious shack, am I correct?" Alfred nodded. "Good. If my deductions are correct, you were going to "Sell you body in the name of Science?""

"Wha- How did you know!" Gasped America.

"Easy, mon ami. The people next door are well known black market dealers. They trick unsuspecting fools into coming into their shop…" America glared at the mention of fools. "And they sell them off to the highest bidders, underground. Everything they do is illegal. In fact, just this morning, I watched the police break into their place and arrest about 10 of them. They also managed to rescue some victims. You should have seen the look on their faces when they were being dragged to jail." France held a delightful smile on his face, Alfred resisting the urge to punch him in the face and run the hell out of there.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Oh! Right! I can help. You see…my associates and I deal with science as well. We do experiments and…" France saw America visibly twitch again. Was it something he said?

"But of course, it is ALL legal! I assure you of that!" The twitching stopped. "And we pay people money to come and participate as our subjects. Interested?"

"You don't buy people's bodies in the name of science then?"

France gave America a weird look. _How stupid was this boy?_ "Alfred…people do not sell their body in the name of science. They DONATE it. And when they do, they are usually dead. Selling your body today is best known as prostitution, as I hear in the streets."

_**I TOLD YOU! **_Alfred grumbled something under his breathe, trying his best to block out the voice that seemed to scold him for his stupidity. _How was I suppose to know that people donated their bodies…and were usually dead?_

"Well…I'm done. See yah later-" America tried to turned around and head home where he planned on drowning himself in the leftover McDonalds he still had when France jerked him back towards the desk.

"Oh please. Don't go yet! Allow me to show you around the building! Perhaps, change your mind about my offer!" Dragging a whining American, France gave Alfred a personal tour of the establishment, every once in a while resisting the habit of feeling the young nation up. Thirty minutes later, he and America we're back at the desk.

"Did you enjoy the tour? I guarantee that all our patients receive full payment for their services and a majority of them are usually satisfied with the results!" _Come on Amerique! Accept the offer already!_

Alfred pouted. "Are you SURE I can trust YOU? I don't know about this…maybe I should call my boss and ask him if this is completely al-" Digging his cell phone out of his pocket, France immediately swiped it from his hands. "Hey!"

"Non! No need for that! You are a nation, yes? You should be capable of making your own decisions America. If you want, I can higher the price."

America's eye lit up. "Really? How much are we talking about?" He was handed his phone back.

France smirked. "Enough to make you want to stay." And began leading the unsuspecting American back into the countless rooms they passed earlier.

"Ok. What do you want me to do?" Inside a large white bare room, Alfred stared around, trying to find some form of human existence in the isolated room.

"Easy. Strip." France smiled at America who began choking uncontrollably.

"WHAT!" He screeched.

"Amerique. I told you this would be easy. You are being overly dramatic here, don't you think?"

"But! Its- I…NO! Not with you around. Send someone else in hear to help me or something! Preferably a chick, would be great."

"Mon cheri. I cannot do that. Everyone has gone on their lunch break but me. You see, I am a very dedicated partner to this company. I don't TAKE breaks from this job." Alfred could feel himself twitching again. _Must. Get. OUTTA HERE!_

"Actually, I think I left something on at my place. I should get going…" However, Alfred could not leave the room with France blocking the doorway. "Get out of the way Frog!" Warned Alfred.

"Alfred. Please calm down. It isn't as bad as you think! You just stripe and I judge the amount of products we can test on you, depending on your…physique."

Alfred didn't cease his glare. "You've GOT to be kidding me."

"Non! I do not kid my dear Alfred. Are you going to comply? Or should I go look for a different patient…?"

_ARGH! Freak! Gosh…ugh! I just KNOW I'm going to hate myself for this… _America sighed in defeat. "Fine. Let's get this over with…"

"Wonderful!" Cheered France. And so the process began. Anxiously trying to hid the blush that spread like wildfire on his face, America stood uneasily as Francis inspected his body, occasionally suppressing squeaks of surprise when the Frenchmen prodded him or poked a sensitive area.

"Relax Amerique. I will not harm you. Remember that you are helping us as well!"

"And what exactly am I helping with today?" America felt like he was going to regret the question.

"Here!" France handed him a small colorful pill. "Eat this. Then in the next following hours we will see how it will affects you." American looked at it, puzzlement written all over his face. "Why does it look like Viagra?"

"Hmmm…why do you know about Viagra?" retorted France. America glared in return before swallowing the pill. _What the hell. I'm already screwed anyways._

"Is this it? I kinda want to put my clothes back on." Spoke Alfred, nervousness evident in his tone. _Please tell me this is all I have to do!_

"Non. We have MANY more tests to run!" Approaching the squirming America, France ran his hand down his chin.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Accused Alfred, quickly backing away from the Frenchman's touch.

"Oh quiet, mon ami. I am simply checking your temperature." Purred France. _You son of a b- You are SO not checking my temperate!_

"Liar." Alfred crossed his arms in frustration.

"Ho ~ho? Lets move on." France walked over to a corner of the room, where a desk suddenly appeared. _What the-! Since when was that thing there?_

The white desk rattled with numerous items hidden inside, France gingerly lifting them out, one by one. "While we wait for the pill to take affect, we can start on the other tests."

He continued to remove things and knickknacks from the desk.

Alfred stared in horror. His fellow nation turned around, a devilish smirk gracing his face and a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"Shall we begin?"

* * *

_**(Sorry, but due to the explicit…material and memories that America wishes to never relive or remember in his God forsaken life, the rest of the scenes must be censored. Thank you for your understanding.)**_

* * *

The sun set in a fiery late evening, Alfred F. Jones, all the while wishing he could die right now. Swaying slightly from the drugs that were still in his system, he could barely hold a glare as France paid him his money for performing the tests.

"Well done! You performed exquisitely America!" France congratulated him, patting him softly on the back.

"Don't fucking touch me, you bastard. I swear to God I will NEVER come back here again. And YOU! If you EVER tell anyone about this, I swear, I will beat you so senseless, your gonna start thinking that British food is better then everything else!"

France visibly gulped at the mere idea. "Ehehe…Ok Alfred. Umm…allow me to help-."

"NO! I don't want your help! Just leave me alone and fuck off!" Shouted Alfred. He swayed his way to the door, before losing his balance and landing near a chair that was thankfully placed by the entrance.

"Mon cheri. I am sorry if you are upset with me but I cannot allow you to leave this place, knowing that you are in no condition to drive home!" France followed the incapacitated American and grabbed him by the shoulder. "Here. Allow me to drop you off at home. At least you can't say I'm not worried about you." _Well…now we know that those drugs DO NOT aid in male enhancement or other things… Although I'm surprised that the dose I gave him affected him THIS much. Note to self: High doses will most likely kill normal humans…_

Mumbling incoherent curses, Alfred was led to France's car and driven back "home."

* * *

"Au revoir." Chimed France, driving away while Alfred gazed at his retreating car. Turning back to his house, his REAL house, Alfred tried to bring up fuzzy memories about why he couldn't be here.

"FREEZE!" Behind him stood 5 agents, their guns raised in warnings towards the still drugged American. "Wha…?"

He swayed some more, his balance lasting long enough to stumble towards the uneasy agents. "We said FREEZE! Don't move another step!" Before they could shoot a warning shot to show that they were serious in their threat, America face planted in his lawn grass, out cold from the drugs that struggled to fade from his system.

"What the hell? What do you make of this, boss?" Asked one of the agents. Their leader lowered his gun and checked the nations pulse, then his eyes.

"By God…I think the boys drugged! Look at his eyes!" Exclaimed the top agent. Indeed, they were dilated and glossy. "Oh gosh…how we going to explain this one to the President. Not even a whole day and already, we find his protégé, drugged and passed out in his yard."

"Why is his clothes so disheveled too? You think it has something to do with that car that dropped him off?"

"Your right!" The top boss pulled out his phone and dialed a number. "Hello! Central? Yeah! We need to get a few guys to follow a red car, about 10 blocks from the eagle's nest…yeah. We think he might have had some interaction with the eagle but we can't confirm that because the suspect just took off. Can you track them down? …Yes. Great! We'll be waiting for further reports!" He hung up the phone and turned to his men.

"Ok! I want YOU two to get this idiot back to his "house" and I want YOU two to stay and continue guarding the eagle's nest, am I clear!" The four agents nodded obediently and rushed to complete their tasks, two of them dragging an unconscious nation into their car and the other two diving into the bushes near Alfred's house. The top agent turned back towards the direction where the red car had fled and turned his own car on, hoping to maybe catch up with their suspect.

**~ EXTRA ~**

Despite being bored out of their minds, the two agents that laid concealed in the foliage of Alfred's front yard continued to stare at the house they were guarding. They had held some hushed chats but eventually, their training kicked in and they went quiet when they noticed movement coming from passing people and cars. Close to night, they remained in the bushes, their eyes dashing over to a car that parked itself in front of the Eagle's nest. The occupant of the car approached the house, grumbling a few words under his breathe before knocking on the door.

The agents, noticing that this person was not their intended target, looked at one another before contacting their boss.

"Agent Smith! We have an unknown suspect approaching the house. What actions would you like us to take?"

"What? What does the person look like?"

"Umm…male, small stature…short blond hair I believe…" The other agent in the bushes looked closer at the waiting man. "Oh! And he has caterpillars for eyebrows!" Fortunately, the clumsy agent hadn't blurted out that last detail loud enough for the annoyed British man to recognize where that strange noise came from. The Briton awkwardly peeked around before settling himself back at the door, waiting for a door that would never open.

"You idiot! Don't you know how to keep your tone down?" Whispered his partner.

"Large eyebrows you say? Tell me, does he have a scowl on his face?" Asked their boss. "Ummm…yeah! He does! How did you know that? Oh! And it looks like he's entering the house now! He seems to have keys to the place…"

"Oh! Well…that's most likely England. I overheard that he was coming over and…"

"England, sir? Isn't that a country?"

_Oh no! Can't blow the nations cover! _Smith was just one of the few non political people that was allowed in on the secret of the nations existence. "Oh! He's a friend of Alfred's. His nickname is England because he's British and what not. He even has this funny British accent!" _Good cover…_

"Really? Hmm. Alright, so do we leave him alone then?"

_THEY BOUGHT IT! _"Um yes! Sure! He is no threat to the experiment. Leave him be."

Thus, the phone call ended.

* * *

Inside the house, England grumbled a few insults as he failed to locate his American counterpart. "Stupid…insolent PRAT! I call him various times and he can't even pick up?" He found his house phone and noticed that it was out of service. "Idiot. No wonder…" _How about his cell phone? I called numerous times and he still didn't pick up ONCE today. Bloody git most likely has it on silent again. Damn it! I told him so many times before, "Don't leave your stupid phone on SILENT"_

Deciding that the house was most likely empty for the night, England stomped into the living room, hoping to find some evidence as to WHERE his stupid ally had disappeared off to.

Instead, he was met with a comical sight. Well, at least a comical sight to people who didn't include England. On America's television screen stood a blurred Princess, her eyebrows obnoxiously large and a scowl firmly placed on her face. If THAT wasn't enough to set off the British nation, he stared at her comment in silence before he finally lost his temper. _Is…is that suppose to be…ME?_

"You fucking WANKER! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Roared England.

Outside the house, the two hidden agents shivered at the intimidating voice that burst forth from the eagles nest.

* * *

God, I'm so lame… Oh well! Yes America. You shall now suffer along with every college student in our country who endures debt woes and other financial problems. Welcome to the I Have a Big Debt club! I promise everyone that the President is completely OC in this story. Like, seriously! How would a retarded college student like me, have access to him anyways? And please, no bashing on any political likes or dislike. I was just bored and decided to type this thing out.

And as for selling your body to science…I'm pretty sure you have to be dead for that so how to get the money in return…I can't say. I'm gonna go ahead and say that America never got the memo that said "Must be dead to DONATE body to science." Not sell. Although I saw a few people say that it IS possible, though I'm pretty sure it like, in the black market business or some other shady crude. Please, to any readers, DON'T DO THIS! Maybe you can do some experiments that pay you, but overall, DO NOT offer yourself up to make extra money. There are PLENTY of other ideas that will be covered later on in this story. After all, this is AMERICA we're talking about. He ALWAYS finds a way for something.

P.S. In case anyone is confused, France DID NOT rape America. Just did a few tests on him is all…;D


End file.
